I can’t believe I’m posting Demetri Martin breakup lines, but I am.
They are funny as long as you don’t take them too seriously. I would never suggest that you use any of these lines on anyone as they are too crass and obnoxious. If you are thinking of breaking up with someone you need to use a lot more tact and be sensitive to their feelings. If you do find inspiration in these breakup quotes then you deserve the response that you will ultimately receive. Just don’t do it!
Warning: Demetri Martin breakup lines
Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you’re pregnant. If you’re not, then let’s break up.
Hey, is there a new critically acclaimed movie called “Other People”? Because that’s what I want to see right now.
Are your feet tired?…Because you’ve been stomping on my dreams for a few months now. Let’s break up.
I bet crowds are really annoying for mind readers.
— Demetri Martin (@DemetriMartin) July 14, 2016
Do you believe in love at first sight?…How about misery after three years? Let’s break up
That shirt looks good on you. You know what else would look good on you? My friend Dave, I think you should go out with him.
Demetri Martin’s Comic genius
Demetri Martin \'Boyfriend Bomb\'
I didn’t know angels flew this close to the ground. Maybe that’s because this angel’s gained a little weight since we started going out. Let’s break up
Hey, I was just wondering. Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Because I’m not sure if this is working out. Let’s break up.
— Demetri Martin (@DemetriMartin) April 22, 2016
Demetri Martin is also an ‘artist’
Another comic gemGallery with ID 45 doesn't exist.
Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?
When I’m with you I feel 3 pounds lighter. Probably because you bore the shit out of me……And I had a big lunch.
Hey baby, are you being followed?…Because I’ve been seeing people behind your back.
You and I are like a meteor hurtling through the sky everyone’s wondering why we haven’t broken up yet. Let’s break up.